SECRET

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the boy next to me. He is my so-called “BESTFRIEND”. I stared at his face and I wish he were mine. But he didn’t notice me like that. And I knew it. After class he walked to me and asked for the notes he had missed the day before. I handed them to him. He said, “THANKS” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don’t want us to be just friends. I love him but I’m just too shy and I don’t know why.

Second grade, the phone rang, on the other hand was he. Mumbling on and on about his love that had broken his heart. He asked me to come over because he didn’t want to be alone, and so I did. As I sat next to him on the sofa I stared at his soft eyes and wishing he were mine. After two hours, one Drew Barrymore movie and three bags of chips, and then he decided to go to sleep. But before that, he looks at me and said, “THANKS” and gave me kiss on the cheek. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don’t want us to be just friends. I love him but I’m just too shy and I don’t know why.

Senior year, the day before our prom. He walked on my desk, “MY DATE IS SICK”, he said, “SHE'S NOT GONNA GO WELL I DON'T HAVE A DATE.” During our seventh grade, we made a promise that if neither of us don’t have a date we would go together- just as “BESTFRIENDS”. So we did. After the prom night, he was standing at my front doorstep. I glanced at him as he smiled at me. And he gazed at me with his crystal eyes. I want him to be mine but he didn’t think of me like that. And I knew it. Then he said, “I HAD THE BEST TIME, THANKS!” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don’t want us to be just friends. I love him but I’m just too shy and I don’t know why...

Days had passed, then weeks, then months. Before I could blink it’s our graduation day. I watched his body floated up on the stage to get his diploma. I want him to be mine. But he didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, he come to me with his smock and hat, and he cried as I hug him. Then he lifted his head on my shoulders and said, “YOU’RE MY BESTFRIEND, THANKS!” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want him to know that that I don’t want us to be just friends. I love him but I’m just too shy and I don’t know why.

Now as I sit in the pews of the church, that boy is getting married…..That boy is getting married now. I watched him say “I DO” and drive off his new life. He was married to another woman. I want him to be mine, but he didn’t see me like that. And I knew it. But before he drove away, he came to me and said, “YOU CAME, THANKS!” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want him to know that I don’t want us to be just friends. I love him but I’m just too shy and I don’t know why.

Years passed, I looked down in the coffin of the boy who used to be my “BESTFRIEND”. At the service they read a diary entry he had written in his high school years, this is what he said;
“I stared at her wishing she
were mine but she didn’t notice
me like that. And I knew it. I
want to tell her. I want her to
know that I don’t want us to be
just friends. I love her but I’m
just too shy and I don’t know
why. I wish she tell me that she
loved me too.”
“I wish I did too…”, I thought to myself and then I cried.